By Blake D. Bauer //
One must learn to love oneself with a wholesome and healthy love, so that one can bear to be with oneself and need not roam.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Deep down, we all want to feel ‘welcome’, that we ‘belong’, and that we’re accepted just the way we are. We also want to feel appreciated, simply because we’re alive and not just for how we please others. Essentially, each of us holds a longing to feel at home within ourselves, because when we feel safe to simply be ourselves, where no one is judging us, and we can let our guard down to be vulnerable, our heart opens and allows the peace, joy and love within us to flow freely. To feel the warm embrace of unconditional love that most of us associate with the idea of ‘home’ is how we as human beings come to blossom and thrive. Even if our own experiences at home, either as children or as adults, have never been as loving or as warm as we’ve wanted them to be, deep down we all know it’s possible to live in supportive environments that are full of kindness, respect, acceptance, understanding and joy.
For various reasons, many of us still have not found, or created, the home we’re looking for. What we’re rarely taught, and often don’t realize, is that the one true home that we’re all intuitively pursuing already exists within us just below the inner battles that we’re subconsciously doing everything in our power to avoid. The only reason why any of us do not feel at home within ourselves and therefore within our lives is simply because we’re reacting to and trying to escape the repressed emotions that still remain unresolved within us. More specifically, most of us are currently running from life itself in the here and now, because we fear facing the aspects of ourselves, our lives, and our past that we have not fully accepted, forgiven or learned to love unconditionally yet.
Regardless of what coming home, going home or being at home means to each of us as unique individuals, the home we’re all looking for can never truly be found outside of ourselves. We can create loving and warm environments in the outer world, but doing so is always dependent on, and reflective of, how loving and warm we feel within and towards ourselves. Sometimes we may think we’ve found our home in another person or a specific place, but if we do not wholeheartedly love, value and accept ourselves, then eventually the fact that we are not at peace within ourselves will always resurface to be addressed. This is why coming home to life in the present moment, moment after moment, day after day, is one of the most important keys to loving ourselves unconditionally, transforming our suffering and finally enjoying our lives.
Although we may think there was, or will be, a more opportune time, we cannot love ourselves or liberate our soul in some long-gone past or in some distant fantasy of the future. We can only love and therefore heal and free ourselves right here in this very moment by creating a loving, safe environment within our own body, heart and mind. Initially it may seem impractical to become this focused on the present moment, but eventually it becomes clear that a significant amount of our life, time, energy and money are wasted on thinking about the future and the past.
Except from international bestselling book You Were Not Born To Suffer
Part 2 of this article will appear on the SMC Blog next month.
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About the Author
Blake D. Bauer is an internationally recognized author, counselor, qigong master, and alternative medicine practitioner. His best-selling book You Were Not Born To Suffer and pioneering work focus on unconditional self-love as the key to self-healing, fulfilling your life’s purpose, and awakening spiritually. Bringing together what he’s found to be the most effective spiritual practices and holistic approaches to well-being, Blake’s work has successfully guided thousands of people around the world to greater health and freedom in mind and body. // www.unconditional-selflove.com