Monday morning — internet down! And it was down for two days — so, freak out in the business realm. The aspens were unbothered. Some wondered if they ought to meditate. In some cases, they drove off the land to find a connection.
I walked around the land and took photos — a delightful activity which actually falls within my broad job description. We need photos to do the marketing. Meanwhile, it was a nice experience of connecting — with the land, with SMC, no internet needed. Especially potent since I am on the way out.
Application to Naropa submitted last Friday. This weekend, we’ll head down to Boulder to meet the people we’re planning on living with when we leave, and check out the space.
Just now, 49 day ceremony for Acharya Lyon — chant the Shin Kham, burn the photograph. 49 days in the bardo and then rebirth — according to tradition. I had the sense, along with others, that Allyn flew through into a good rebirth with swiftness. She was There. High realization. I imagined, as we chanted just now, that if she were somehow observing, she’d just like to see that we are all getting along, somewhat. And, perhaps a sense of NBD: “Okay, good, good. Thank you. Now get on with it. I’m fine! Plenty to do there at SMC now. Don’t try too hard.”
I’m sorry but I felt a lot of criticism while sitting in that room, when the most important instruction in that case is to feel tenderness, to radiate bodhichitta. What was coming up for me: sharpness. Disappointment. Frustration. And: The negative qualities falling away and: Clear Seeing. Allyn I miss you for your clear seeing and no bullshitness. I wish I could talk to you about all of these things here that make me angry. I need to vent a bit, and I need wisdom mind to reflect. You did that SO WELL. Fuck. I feel alone. Acharya Hessey, may we set up a meeting?
Things are out of whack and I am feeling the need to speak — but I don’t know how or what to say. I need to filter my… No. I need to clean the… polish the… or maybe just…
Yo. Give it a rest. Lighten up.
Yeah, but that doesn’t stick.
Okay… ride on.
Okay, wrap up the writing with a “everything’s as it ought to be moment.” No.
Tender feet on gravel. Marpa Point inverse, into earth, into boiling core. Fake vegan cheese on the pizza tonight. We imported water to make the dogh. We = the kitchen dudes. Pizza night tonight! Last night, picked up Heather from the Seely house. She’d been… babysitting? That’s not the right term. Adreanna. They are preparing for… what’s the name of that country? That continent? Australia Day. An invented holiday. The second holiday that Adreanna has invented. Last year she invented Viking Day. Was that it?
Floral Notes and Bardo: The Creative Chronicles of a Shambhala Mountain Resident is a regular feature on the SMC blog in which a member of our staff/community shares his experience of living as part of Shambhala Mountain Center.
About the Author
Travis Newbill is a writer, musician, and aspirant on the path of meditation. He currently resides at Shambhala Mountain Center, where he handles the SMC Blog, and other marketing tasks. He also gives tours of the Great Stupa and is empowered as a Shambhala Guide — a preliminary teaching position. TravisNewbill.com