Life at SMC, Mindful Living
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Floral Notes and Bardo: Funny Little Crush on a Nun

By Travis Newbill

Floral Notes and Bardo: The Creative Chronicles of a Shambhala Mountain Resident is a daily feature on the SMC blog in which a member of our staff/community shares his experience of existing as part of Shambhala Mountain Center.

Pema Chödrön is on the land.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream that her and I were walking around the land together.  At some point, we were gazing into each other’s eyes and she said something like:

“We have karma like we’ve kissed before.”

Like, in a past life, we were honey-buddies.


A couple of days ago, when I first saw her, as we were crossing paths in our dining hall, we exchanged bows.

I wish that I may say to her, somehow: “Thank you.”

Who on this planet has been more helpful to me than her?  I don’t know.  And I’ve never exchanged words with her.

I saw her on a street corner in Boulder once.  And now I’m seeing her, in little glimpses, here.  On my way to my office this morning, I was watching her walk up the steps to the shrine room, from a distance.  She stopped and turned around, looked back at me.  I bowed and walked away.  I felt embarrassed.  A few minutes ago, walking, I saw her on a trail up ahead.  She turned to walk in my direction. I became fluttery.  I smiled and waved like a goofball while we passed each other.  She smiled and waved back.  Ahh… Hopeless..

Yesterday was April Fools Day.  Throughout the afternoon, people brought me love notes from Pema to me (created by Heather, who I told about the dream as soon as I awoke, and who has seen me swooning for the past couple of days).

It’s a funny little crush that I have on that amazing little nun.

— April 2, 2014


PortraitTravis Newbill is a curious dude on the path of artistry, meditation, and social engagement who is very glad to be residing at Shambhala Mountain Center. His roles within the organization include Marketing Associate and Head Dekyong–a position of leadership within the community. 

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