All posts tagged: Mindful Self-Compassion

White-Knuckling and Self-Compassion

By Megan Prager // I am a recovering white-knuckler. I share this with you, because I know I am not alone. There are plenty of us “knucklers” out there that stay with pain, sometimes quite literally, until our knuckles become white. Pushing past our limits, fighting through difficulty, sometimes consciously and sometimes not. I remember several years ago being in a yoga class, and holding a pose that was both too hard and long for my body. I stayed, gritting my teeth, feeling the pain, until the teacher told us to release. Nevermind that I had to limp to my car that day, or that it took my knee several months to feel “normal” again. For this white-knuckler what mattered is that I stayed in that pose for as long as the teacher was holding me in it; staying with the difficulty, no matter the pain, in my mind equalled “success”.  Here’s the challenge with white-knuckling: it’s not black and white. Sometimes we may find that white-knuckling leads to developing strengths, discovering insights, and/or making …

The Power of Wisdom and Compassion

By Michelle Becker // I’ve noticed that when life gets really difficult – whether due to a natural disaster like the recent, devastating hurricanes and earthquakes, or due to more personal issues like the health crisis of a loved one or difficulty in our interpersonal relationships – We, humans, often react by going to extremes. On one end of the spectrum, we can fall into despair, becoming overwhelmed with pain and grief, unable to be present with things as they are. On the other end of the spectrum, we can bury our heads in the sand and push away any awareness of the suffering around us. Maybe we spend every waking hour at work, fixated on a project, or we drink or eat a little too much, or binge watch our favorite shows. Either extreme keeps us from being present with things as they are, just in different ways. And why would we even want to stay present in difficult circumstances? Because being present with things as they are doesn’t trigger the added layer of …

Finding the Voice of Self-Compassion

By Michelle Becker // In first grade I had a really mean teacher.  Several decades later, I can still feel the hot sting of humiliation as she stopped the class so they could watch me clean out my desk.  Clearly it wasn’t up to her standards. I was already painfully shy as a girl and this was a particularly cruel punishment to dole out in my case.  I got through that year, but it didn’t leave me any more organized, less shy or more confident about school. The best thing I can say about that year is that I survived.  I really don’t think I learned much. Luckily in third grade I had a remarkable teacher, Ms. Foust.  This was the 60’s and she was oh so kind and cool. My mom called her a hippie.  She lived on a sailboat and played her guitar for us. We sang all the hits of the day as she strummed on her guitar.  I began to feel safe and seen. I began to relax. We did art. …