By Blake D. Bauer //
In the same way that no person wants to be unhappy or unwell, no human being wants to live in fear. If you do not address your underlying fears directly, you will constantly project them onto your ideas of the future, which then causes you to create a life that is defined by what you fear rather than what you love. Fear that is not honestly faced and transformed today will always drive us to think, speak and act in ways that bring about the exact situations and experiences we fear most. When we allow this to continue without being aware of it, we keep reaffirming our limiting beliefs while we simultaneously destroy our health, happiness, and everything else potentially positive in our lives.
By paying particular attention to who and what we fear now, we can question why we’re scared and begin to see through the thoughts and emotions that are holding us back, making us sick or keeping us unhappy. As we do this we naturally come to understand that our current fears have their roots in the past and we can stop ourselves from unintentionally expecting the same negative or painful events to occur. As we become more aware of our fear-based thinking, we can see how our unresolved experiences from the past shape and limit what we believe our experiences of the future can and will be. The hurt in our heart now and the fear of getting hurt again lead to negative expectations of what is to come. But by bringing more awareness to our fear-based thoughts and habits in the present, we can change this and stop limiting the amazing opportunities each new day presents.
Through learning how to process our fears as they arise, we can release them and drop our expectations of experiencing what we fear. This is also how we let go of the belief that the future will be as hard as the past, which then unlocks more space and energy to enjoy our lives today.
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
– Joseph Campbell
Practically speaking, there are two main ways to transform the fear inside of you. Both of these approaches depend first upon you being honest with yourself here in the present rather than running from what you fear through thinking about the future or through making yourself busy in the hope of distracting yourself from the truth.
1. The first way to transform your fears is to get them out by writing about them or by talking about them with a trusted person in your life.
We do not often share our deepest fears with anyone, because we either deny that they exist or judge ourselves for feeling scared. When we judge ourselves for having fears, most of us then project our own judgement of ourselves out on to others, which leads us to fear being judged by other people. Whether we deny our fears or judge ourselves for having them, they then remain trapped within us, subconsciously driving our choices in every moment and creating additional suffering. Anything inside of ourselves that we resist will always persist and grow in the shadows of our body and subconscious mind. Through avoiding our fears, they do not go away. Rather they expand in power and destructive influence. As we begin to write about our fears or express them to someone we feel safe talking to, we begin to see through them and thus free the life-force energy that has become trapped in the ongoing loop of fear within us. Honestly expressing our fears immediately breaks this cycle and allows us to reclaim our energy from the destructive pattern of pretending to feel other than we do.
2. The second way to transform your fear is to focus on love – intentionally to choose love as much as possible every day.
Focusing our thoughts, actions, and spoken words on love is an overlooked key to being happy and well. We focus a lot of time and mental energy on the things in our lives that we do not love, or that we fear, and in so doing we unintentionally cause these things to grow. When we train our mind to focus on who we love, what we love, and what we love to do, we are focusing our energy on what makes us feel alive and well.
What we focus on grows in the same way that what we resist persists. So focusing on what we love feeds energy into the manifestation of more experiences that we enjoy. Even though experiencing more of what we do not want or more of what we fear is the last thing anyone would consciously choose, many of us are trapped in this self-destructive pattern because we don’t know anything different. But now that you do understand this process, you can find a way to express your fears and you can choose to focus on what you love as much as possible each day.
The contrast in our experience between feeling good and feeling fear is always teaching us what we need to know to face and overcome our fear, ultimately so we can enjoy our life and unlock our full capacity to love. Without experiencing fear, we could not know just how liberating the experience of loving ourselves, loving others, and loving life truly is. Seen in this light, our fears are actually gifts that challenge us to find the courage and strength to be true to ourselves no matter what. Ironically, our greatest fears always become the bridge to our freedom and joy. They always end up strengthening our commitment to our destiny and our integrity, because they consistently teach us to choose love over fear, which is the only way to create a beautiful life that is full of honesty, peace, health, happiness, and deep heart- to-heart connection.
Except from Blake D. Bauer’s book, You Were Not Born To Suffer.
About the Author
Blake D. Bauer is the author of the international bestselling book You Were Not Born To Suffer. He is a sought after wisdom teacher with an extensive background in psychology, alternative medicine, nutrition, traditional healing, mindfulness meditation, and qi gong. Based on both his personal experience overcoming deep suffering, addiction, and adversity, as well as his professional success with over 100,000 people worldwide, his pioneering work integrates what he’s found to be the most effective approaches to optimal mental, emotional and physical health.